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Theresa's books

Roc and a Hard Place
Geis of the Gargoyle
Harpy Thyme
Demons Don't Dream
The Color of Her Panties
Question Quest
Isle of View
Man from Mundania
Heaven Cent
Crewel Lye
Golem in the Gears
Vale of the Vole
Dragon on a Pedestal
Ogre, Ogre
Witch's Halloween: A Complete Guide to the Magick, Incantations, Recipes, Spells, and Lore
The Book of Runes: A Handbook for the Use of an Ancient Oracle: The Viking Runes with Stones
The Diary of a Young Girl
Eragon
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The Hobbit


Theresa's favorite books »

Saturday, December 9, 2017

What A Shitty Year

Since other people like to talk about me I'm just gonna out it all myself.  I've made a lot of dumb mistakes over the years and apparently just keep on doing so.

In June, my son tells his counselors that my now ex TRIED(this is caps because some dumbasses don't seem to see the word. I've been molested, there's a fucking difference) to molest my daughter and they call the police. Because of the situation, I told him I couldn't be with him even if it's not true because that will always be on my mind. If I believed it more at the time I would have killed him instead of trying to wake him and tell him this. He goes next door to his mom's while I'm trying to figure out a way to go back to my family in Florida. I was set to leave Saturday for Florida and got arrested on Friday for failure to report/prevent abuse. I spent a week in jail and my daughter's friend's family says I can stay with them so I get let out. Half a week later I get my kids back because they were only in state custody for me being arrested. I'm STILL going to court on this so still can't leave. I have left my exes name out of shit but he continues to talk shit about me. Why haven't I fucking left, BECAUSE I CAN'T YOU FUCKING MORON! I don't have the resources your spoiled ass does and am fucking stuck!

Now he hasn't been to jail or anything but continues to bitch from what I get to hear even though I'd rather just go on with life and forget those five years existed.

While I was in jail they did the procedure of checking my daughter. From my experience, that's a rod they stick in you and hurts like a bitch. So traumatize a child more is the way to go even when no one actually got there. In July, I get a letter from child services saying the case is closed because according to statutes I didn't neglect or abuse my child. I'm still going through court though. It keeps getting continued.

The other reason I may not leave if I can find a place is that my children have their mental health and everything established here and it's a royal pain in the ass to try transferring all that. My daughter is playing basketball.

The other bs going on is my son. He was kicked out for about a week for tearing up these people's house. They let him back in after child services got involved again and he starts running away but telling people he is kicked out again. He can be a real sweetheart, but that's reserved for people not trying to help or take care of him. He's always been a damn hard child. It's not new that he acts up. I get told I should whoop him or to let someone else to it by those who see it. I've also been told I should get rid of him by another ex. He's my son though so I keep trying. Not hard enough for some of course. I've been working since August in a job that ends soon and haven't been able to save a penny because I've been paying rent, buying toiletries, and some emergency to spend what I make always comes up. I've been applying to places with no responses. So his sisters and I have no where to go but a shelter that is too far for me to make it to court.

I want to just give up. When I try to change things for the better, there's seems to be others pushing me back and I'm just tired of trying. My son has the innate ability to make adults act his age rather than their own and I'm tired of trying to keep peace. Everyone tells me what I should do but no one actually helps. I've tried all suggestions. I'm not the only one in any situation and have found that just me doesn't make a difference at all. So I've started just keeping quiet and becoming more and more depressed. When I get my shit together (if ever), everyone I don't absolutely have to talk to will never hear from me again.

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