Judgement

Today I was told by a friend that they don't like what they heard one of us say to our children. Telling one of them to shut up and the fact that I called the boys idiots for something idiotic they have both done. That I should just ignore what they say to me and pick my battles. I like this person and respect that they felt the need to express themselves but it doesn't change all we've gone through trying to get the boys help and the fact that they raised their voice at me in front of my child. To me that is undermining and disrespectful to do to a parent. If you don't like how they do things, then talk to them away from the children. You don't ever tell a parent they are wrong in front of their child. I'm saddened by the fact that I will no longer hang out with them. If they want the kids to hang out with theirs that is fine but I'm out. If my children don't pull the things to them that they have to others - great. If they do and it s upsetting, I am not surprised and will not sympathize.

It's so easy for people to judge you because they only see part of the story. They don't see it all and there has been a myriad of people who don't seem to mind undermining me in front of my children. Either because they think I'm too hard or too soft on my kids. One side thinks that I'm rotten to my children and the other thinks that I just let my children run rampant.

One side seems to think I should not tell my children when they are being downright stupid or acting as if I've never taught them lessons on how to behave.

The other side hears the things my children say or sees what they pull and thinks I just let my children do whatever they want and that I should be beating on them for the stupidest of things.

No matter what I do, someone is going to have a problem with it so I will keep doing things in the way I do. If they act stupid I will tell them (such as stealing). If they are being a bit loud but not so much that it doesn't bother me I will ignore it. I pick my battles in life as well as in my family. My family is the most important thing in the world to me and everyone else is just there. I am a parent, not a friend to my children. My children will not run my household, the breadwinners of the household will run it.