Theresa's books

Roc and a Hard Place
Geis of the Gargoyle
Harpy Thyme
Demons Don't Dream
The Color of Her Panties
Question Quest
Isle of View
Man from Mundania
Heaven Cent
Crewel Lye
Golem in the Gears
Vale of the Vole
Dragon on a Pedestal
Ogre, Ogre
Witch's Halloween: A Complete Guide to the Magick, Incantations, Recipes, Spells, and Lore
The Book of Runes: A Handbook for the Use of an Ancient Oracle: The Viking Runes with Stones
The Diary of a Young Girl
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
The Hobbit

Theresa's favorite books »

Saturday, December 9, 2017

What A Shitty Year

Since other people like to talk about me I'm just gonna out it all myself.  I've made a lot of dumb mistakes over the years and apparently just keep on doing so.

In June, my son tells his counselors that my now ex TRIED(this is caps because some dumbasses don't seem to see the word. I've been molested, there's a fucking difference) to molest my daughter and they call the police. Because of the situation, I told him I couldn't be with him even if it's not true because that will always be on my mind. If I believed it more at the time I would have killed him instead of trying to wake him and tell him this. He goes next door to his mom's while I'm trying to figure out a way to go back to my family in Florida. I was set to leave Saturday for Florida and got arrested on Friday for failure to report/prevent abuse. I spent a week in jail and my daughter's friend's family says I can stay with them so I get let out. Half a week later I get my kids back because they were only in state custody for me being arrested. I'm STILL going to court on this so still can't leave. I have left my exes name out of shit but he continues to talk shit about me. Why haven't I fucking left, BECAUSE I CAN'T YOU FUCKING MORON! I don't have the resources your spoiled ass does and am fucking stuck!

Now he hasn't been to jail or anything but continues to bitch from what I get to hear even though I'd rather just go on with life and forget those five years existed.

While I was in jail they did the procedure of checking my daughter. From my experience, that's a rod they stick in you and hurts like a bitch. So traumatize a child more is the way to go even when no one actually got there. In July, I get a letter from child services saying the case is closed because according to statutes I didn't neglect or abuse my child. I'm still going through court though. It keeps getting continued.

The other reason I may not leave if I can find a place is that my children have their mental health and everything established here and it's a royal pain in the ass to try transferring all that. My daughter is playing basketball.

The other bs going on is my son. He was kicked out for about a week for tearing up these people's house. They let him back in after child services got involved again and he starts running away but telling people he is kicked out again. He can be a real sweetheart, but that's reserved for people not trying to help or take care of him. He's always been a damn hard child. It's not new that he acts up. I get told I should whoop him or to let someone else to it by those who see it. I've also been told I should get rid of him by another ex. He's my son though so I keep trying. Not hard enough for some of course. I've been working since August in a job that ends soon and haven't been able to save a penny because I've been paying rent, buying toiletries, and some emergency to spend what I make always comes up. I've been applying to places with no responses. So his sisters and I have no where to go but a shelter that is too far for me to make it to court.

I want to just give up. When I try to change things for the better, there's seems to be others pushing me back and I'm just tired of trying. My son has the innate ability to make adults act his age rather than their own and I'm tired of trying to keep peace. Everyone tells me what I should do but no one actually helps. I've tried all suggestions. I'm not the only one in any situation and have found that just me doesn't make a difference at all. So I've started just keeping quiet and becoming more and more depressed. When I get my shit together (if ever), everyone I don't absolutely have to talk to will never hear from me again.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Being thankful

I decided to post what I'm thankful for because I need to remind myself.

1) I'm thankful that I have had people that helped me in my life.

2) I'm thankful that I have my children.

3) I'm thankful that I've known what love feels like.

4) I'm thank that I have people that care.

5) I'm thankful that I have a job I enjoy.

6) I'm thankful that I have a roof over my children's head even if it's not mine.

7) I'm thankful that my children have food.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

A Job is a Job

Recently I've heard the statements "a job is a job" and "safe job." Umm... No. There is absolutely no such thing as a safe job and not all jobs are created equal.

Not everyone can handle shoveling shit or constant heavy lifting. Not everyone can be a psychiatrist or a social worker.

I've never been out of work for long. The level of work has varied, but I've always had some. Some jerks in my life didn't consider some of it to be a job, but the hell with them.

I just had to vent. That is all for now.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

This Place is BS Sometimes

My son is on probation. There are rules of what he's supposed to do. But the way I am seeing it, it's only me who is supposed to be working harder when he don't listen to me. Since being on probation, he has hit me and comes and goes as he pleases. He has been suspended from school twice. I tell them this and nothing happens. If he continues skipping classes I'm signing him out of school next year unless that law has changed.

The school system does their yearly packet online and it's apparently bogus because they haven't fixed any of the information. One lady told me she needed a court order to remove my ex from information even though he's not fucking related to any of us biologically.  They also seem to dislike my Florida phone number because they call all the others first instead of his mother.

My dog had puppies, they all died. Would have been a week old now. The vet bill was $1000 dollars because she had to have a c-section. They told us we could either pay that in advance or sign over the dog. Kinda seems like a scam to make money off puppies.

 My ex now yells crap from his car when he notices me and flips me off. I thought he was more mature then that.

I am still doing better in other ways, but the little bit of garbage going on is pretty discouraging.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Starting Over Pt 2

Things are mostly better now. I'm working an out of the home job and getting out of the house with the kids. Have some people around me that can tolerate my children and seem to actually enjoy our company. They are the absolute most helpful people ever and I know I can't show them how much I truly appreciate their help. Not yet, at least.

I have found that my ex has said things that are untrue to people about me. That's fine. I had to ask him to stop texting me to make accusations about my child. My ex's daughter has posted a video with the situation a bit wrong, again fine. I'm trying to move my children and I forward. I'm just hoping they don't see it.

I've kept the situation quiet because it's not one that should be public. I've been accused of untrue things and the other party has had nothing happen. Yet the others keep telling everyone about a situation they have no right to broadcast and without all the facts, just to make me and my children look bad. I'm getting so very frustrated. 

While trying to move on and start over, I've actually been happy. It seems as though this garbage is going to pop up just to keep me in a bit of a depression. I shouldn't let it bother me, I know. I'm trying to work on not caring about anything but my children. It's not easy.

My children and I are all seeing counselors now. What they have to say is interesting. I don't have complete thoughts in my head right now, just a lot of frustration and mixed emotion so will end it here. Have a great week or month all.