The Beach

I used to love going to the beach. It was the only place I felt free and truly calm. Whether I went alone, with friends, or with family. It was my sanctuary. I bring this up today because my daughter has the chance to go on a field trip to a beach and I am going to do whatever I can to come up with the money for her to go. I want her to feel that freedom. It's scary as hell because anything can happen but the chance that she can feel what I have even for a second almost seems worth the chance that bad things can happen.

My counselor tried to play devil's advocate with me letting my new boyfriend watch my littlest when there is no one else. Because she knows what we've already experienced. I explained to her that if I let those experiences run my life, I'd never let the kids go out the door.

You see, growing up, there were news stories of kids being duct taped to a wall in a daycare in my area and of kids getting their throats slit in a bathroom in a national park. Shootings still happened back then, as well as other catastrophe that could scare us all into never leaving our homes. War has been eminent forever because people just suck in some ways. Yes it can happen to anyone. But you cannot let those things stop you from attempting to live. Or from letting your children live.

This world has never been perfect. But there are so many perfect moments in a world with so much in which to lose faith. I'm not being religious either. I'm talking about humanity. There are some that would lay down their life for a stranger and others that would torture their own family. You don't always know which is which.

Back to the beach. I'd been to not even half of the Florida beaches.  Cocoa Beach was the one most often visited. It got a little uglier as I got older but it's where I pretty much grew up. I saw the sunrise there so many times and it is the most beautiful thing I've seen. There's a calm like no other in watching that sunrise. I hope that everyone gets to experience that calm one time in their life.