So Little Time

I am constantly busy for the longest time so haven't been able to get on here much. It takes a lot of working to have enough money to get by. So here's a catch up post. It'll probably be long.

My teenage daughter is visiting with her father for the first time right now. They are a couple states away and I'm missing her like crazy. But she wanted to spend time with the other side of her family and he seems to have grown up in the last few years and wants to be a part of her life. She's having a good time so far.

My 16 year old son is about to come home from boot camp. He seems to have matured a lot while he's been away. It's been a year-and-a-half since he went to the boot camp.

My littlest one is doing fine. She's being referred to little clubs at school on how to make friends. They should probably stop worrying about that so much as she'll have friends when she stops meeting stuck up and superficial kids. I want her to continue being herself.

I'm working on things for our family. I've started catching up on old bills and getting myself slowly out of the holes I dug in my early 20s. I'm trying to get us a home.

I've been getting lots of calls and texts for supposed jobs from one of the sites I've put a resume on. It annoys me because they don't tell me where they are calling from. With that, I just tell them how I have a job for now. I'm not going to indulge an unknown prospect. None of them have been in my area either. I'm not driving an hour away for a job. I'll struggle close to where I live instead of spending most of what I make just to get there.

I've lost interest in trying to hang out with people. My 'friends' out here don't seem to like that I'm never available. I just don't want to spend every single day running around town any longer. I have things at home to do when I'm not working. I also have no choice but to go to a laundry mat because this crappy apartment complex doesn't allow washers and dryers in the units. There are many things wrong with these apartments because of how old they are and the lack of care by the owners in trying to update them.

That's it for now. Some of it good, some of it a complaint. That's life. Thanks for reading.

The Beach

I used to love going to the beach. It was the only place I felt free and truly calm. Whether I went alone, with friends, or with family. It was my sanctuary. I bring this up today because my daughter has the chance to go on a field trip to a beach and I am going to do whatever I can to come up with the money for her to go. I want her to feel that freedom. It's scary as hell because anything can happen but the chance that she can feel what I have even for a second almost seems worth the chance that bad things can happen.

My counselor tried to play devil's advocate with me letting my new boyfriend watch my littlest when there is no one else. Because she knows what we've already experienced. I explained to her that if I let those experiences run my life, I'd never let the kids go out the door.

You see, growing up, there were news stories of kids being duct taped to a wall in a daycare in my area and of kids getting their throats slit in a bathroom in a national park. Shootings still happened back then, as well as other catastrophe that could scare us all into never leaving our homes. War has been eminent forever because people just suck in some ways. Yes it can happen to anyone. But you cannot let those things stop you from attempting to live. Or from letting your children live.

This world has never been perfect. But there are so many perfect moments in a world with so much in which to lose faith. I'm not being religious either. I'm talking about humanity. There are some that would lay down their life for a stranger and others that would torture their own family. You don't always know which is which.

Back to the beach. I'd been to not even half of the Florida beaches.  Cocoa Beach was the one most often visited. It got a little uglier as I got older but it's where I pretty much grew up. I saw the sunrise there so many times and it is the most beautiful thing I've seen. There's a calm like no other in watching that sunrise. I hope that everyone gets to experience that calm one time in their life.

Definitely Time for a Change

I have decided I'm going to switch this blog up a bit. I've been wanting to do more uplifting things. Not saying I'm not going to rant anymore but am going to get rid of some of my old rants. Going to clean the blog of my past relationship and just keep what I find more meaningful out of my past posts.

My father has dementia that is getting really bad and I doubt he has a whole lot longer left. As soon as I can make that trip it will become part of my blog. I'm praying I can do that while he is still alive. If anyone would like to help my kids and I out there, you are welcome to donate. There was a time I was against handouts. I'm over that now. I've made a gofundme page too.

My son is definitely doing better at this boot-camp. I only got to talk to him once since he's been there. He's trying hard to be done in the minimum time. I believe he can do it and I miss him. 

My daughters are doing well with our new home and their new schools. I'm working now and it'll be enough to make the bills when I start getting paid and for however long these projects last. 

Well that's all for now. Have a great day!!

Just updates for March 2018

First....

HOPING

Got a place to live. The seasonal job has ended. I got a prospecting job to check out Friday, but that doesn't look like it'll be doable. My son is in a facility, for now, that will determine what they think his needs are. He has plans to run away with a girlfriend and help her take care of her little sister. My girls are seemingly happy in their new schools. Basically, it's a relatively normal mix of good and bad in a not so normal situation.

Time Sure Flies

Image from https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/

And you don't need to be having fun for it to do so. Always busy with appointments of one type or another and the children getting into things. I believe my children need household drama. When one starts calming down for a bit another picks up the slack!

Child 1 has been getting into her own trouble lately. Will be a post on that from my point of view.- started and saved to drafts.

Child 2 has a job. I don't really get to talk to him much so don't know a whole lot that's going on in his life.

Child 3 has been pretty well behaved considering his mental health issues. He tries but that emotional awkwardness and inability to understand why certain things shouldn't be said gets him into a lot of trouble. Mostly little stuff but was suspended for two weeks - draft started and saved.

Child 4 has some services in place and he still has ups and downs. The ups are a little more often than usual. I had parenting classes and have a post about that saved to drafts until I finish it.

Child 5 is doing pretty darn well at school, but is exhibiting signs of depression as far as I can tell. I need to take her to a counselor.

Child 6 is being a pain in the butt to her siblings and they don't even try to contain their annoyance. To be fair, she is only behaving as they have shown her to behave. I do try to correct her but know that the behaviors she's learned can be a stubborn thing to get rid of.

And that's the synopsis for now. Sorry for the sporadic posting.

So Annoyed

My son lost the third and fourth items I know of today. A shirt I bought him within the last month and a pair of pants. He left them at his friends' house. The little kid he got caught taking something from Wal-Mart with. Go over there to get them back and they say he didn't leave anything there. I don't get why my son needs to be around kids that obviously could care less about him. I've tried to teach my kids what a real friend is, but they'd rather let fake friends abuse them.

My Step-Son Informs Us...

https://pixabay.com/en/gnu-angry-animal-cute-funny-161341/

That one of his teachers told him we can suck it up about having to pay some money for something he broke on a laptop that the schools force the parents to utilize.

When your kid

https://pixabay.com/en/users/geralt-9301/

Does something so stupid and unnecessary as to shoplift.

SCHOOL COMPUTERS AND MY KIDS

I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel the #schools interfere too much in home-life. The local school district has computers for each student sixth grade thru twelfth grade. I monitor our children like crazy; both online and off. With them having their own #Google accounts and the school not giving me their passwords regularly, I can no longer monitor what they do online and the school is not - in my opinion - helpful on this.