LIFE KEEPS GOING

It's been oh-so eventful...

So I got myself in trouble trying to keep the house, which turned out to be a bit of a money pit. I should've known a 100-year-old house would be falling apart. Realistically, it needs new electrical all around. It works, but it costs too much, and good wiring tends to stay on the lower end even in this economy. Gas heating is overrated. I had gotten into a relationship with someone that could be as violent as my son. So now I have holes to fix. I let someone rent it for a short time and their kids have torn it up further. During this time I've also struggled with essential homelessness.

I started staying at a friend's to help clean up the place and care for their pet. After their husband died I started trying to sell their stuff for them. She would have succeeded in selling some things if she didn't want outrageous amounts for the age and the fact that the area is cheap. Well, they kept trying to talk me into setting a room up for the baby (I was nearing the end of a pregnancy by this point) and I didn't because I didn't feel I'd need to be there long enough to bother.  But I was there two months and nowhere near done before they said they sold the house in order to get me to move. I had given my other friend a 6-month lease in my home because I figured that's how long I would need to take care of the other's home. So here I am essentially homeless. During all of this I realized her trying to talk me into creating a baby room was for her niece who was just as pregnant as I. I cut ties because I also realize this isn't the first time she pulled shady crap like that. Offering me help and cutting it short for whatever hair got up her bottom. She tries to play my mother more than my friend regardless of the countless times I keep trying to remind people my parents passed away. 

My other friend has let her kids tear up things that were at the house before I bought it. Two very nice planters that I found cost over $200, so I'll not be able to replace them any time soon. I'm going to do what I can to fix it back up a bit and sell it at this point. I can't stand my neighbor. I don't like people who try to dictate the lives of others. That's a story for another time.

Why So Expensive Florida?

 

So, I'm moving back to Florida to be near my family and boy has it gotten expensive to have a place to live?! Some of those prices look decent until you go further in. I got a job in Tampa starting the middle of September. In trying to live closer to my new job, I can't seem to be able to find anything in a doable price range for the fact that I have children. 

Yes I know, they shouldn't have to cater to a single mom. I chose to be a single mom rather than being beat on every time I had an opinion; or having my life run by someone else while they do what they want. But even a single man couldn't do much with this. Just about everyone has to have roommates. My children are a bit special so, roommates aren't the best idea because I will fight over my children. Then, when I'm talking to some that are renting in what I know is a not-so-great area, they have the nerve to tell me $1000 a month for something that looks run down. I know my number is not a Florida number, but I'm not as new as you think. The ones that do charge what would be a more feasible price are only for the elderly.

A lot of the ones you see that look like a fair price for the place, are looking for roommates. So that's one room within the place for that $600. For those that don't have children, it's a great deal. But not for those that do. 

It's a state based mostly in tourism, yes, but that doesn't mean you keep your residents as paupers. I know I could go elsewhere, but I'm tired of the snow and want to be closer to the rest of my family before they're gone too.

I Bought a Puerto Rican Cookbook - Review

Before I start this post, I want to say I'm not affiliated with this person or seller, I just wanted to put something out there I am happy with. 

I was missing the foods I grew up with and couldn't remember how to make them myself. So I went searching for different Puerto Rican Dishes and found a YouTube Video for Arroz con Gandules. From there, I found this cookbook. I decided to buy it and see how close the recipes are to the way my dad made them.
So far, I have made Bacalaitos (codfish fritters) and Pollo Guisado (chicken stew). Let me tell you the flavor is so close to my dad's! I'm extremely happy with this book! I was even more excited to find a recipe for Pasteles and Pastelillos de Carne (called Empanadillas by my dad while I was growing up).
Looking at the ingredients and descriptions of the foods, I can tell they are pretty close to what my dad did. They taste oh so good too! This book will be a well-worn book for me so I can get these recipes stuck inside my head.
The best part, I'm showing my children a little of their heritage and they're loving it so far!

The Rollercoaster That Is Life

He told me it's too much drama. I can't say he's wrong. I wish I could just not deal with it like him. He doesn't communicate, only expects you to go his way.

From January 2018 until September 2019, my son was in a BootCamp and YDC, yes he deserved it but it was still stressful for me. I was working a third shift job with people knocking at my door at about 2pm on random days. That would be like 2am for day workers.

He comes home in September and there are all sorts of issues with his behavior for me and just not following probation guidelines more and more over time. Again stressful for me. Then in February of 2020, my son takes off to Florida to be with a girlfriend and needs me to pick him back up a month later. So just as I got laid off for COVID, I take a trip to Florida to get my teenage brat.

Come back and just a couple weeks later my son beats on me when I get onto him about something. I kick him out. He winds up in a car accident at the end of May. He had a TBI and it was thought he'd be lucky to wake up in 6 weeks. Seven weeks later this particular rollercoaster is done and I'm bringing him home because he's definitely not completely back up to par.

There are several appointments a week right now. The (ex)boyfriend is looking for reasons to be mad at the kids and I each day since my son comes back. He wants a reason to kick him out. Considering the situation, I'm sticking up for my children. The ex is even trying to tell me my daughter is doing wrong constantly when she's not. Drama-yes there's drama, but it's not all us when you're looking for reasons to put us out. I'm sorry that you lost interest in me and apparently don't like being part of a family. You don't want to do things for your own mother and get mad when anyone asks you to do something even if it's on your way.

So now it's time for me to go back home and try to live again. Though this time I have no intentions of getting cozy with anyone. I believe I'm better off alone.

Tough Love

I grew up abused as did my brothers. When I was 12, I tried to make my father accountable for it and was sent back to home because there was no concrete proof. My dad led the house with fear.

In life, I've had one physically abusive boyfriend and several mentally/emotionally abusive ones. I am not by any means perfect and have made some very stupid decisions.

I refuse to let my son abuse me any longer. Over time he's made accusations towards me that were untrue and I only mildly tried to correct them. I mostly just let him say those things for whatever sympathy he's looking for. I've had him seeing counselors since he was in the 3rd grade and after trying to change his diet to avoid medications and it not working out, I allowed the medications. The medications fixed one thing but brought on others. He also has a strong enough mind to fight his medications. What I try to teach him is wrong, he goes and does. The last straw for me was when he beat on me at the end of March 2020. All the times he took off (ran away basically), all the things he broke (walls, doors, windows) and I put up with it. But breaking my face up is not something I can just let him come back with.

He was staying somewhere and couldn't properly follow their rules or work so they kicked him out yesterday. I am trying to find another place for him to stay even if it means me somehow paying for it along with my own bills on less than 1k a month earnings. But I will not let him back in my home. He hit the bigger of his younger sisters before me and she didn't want me to push the issue. The youngest is very small and I'm not going to chance he does to her like he did me.

The argument the day he hit me started with the fact that he cut the screen so he could sneak in his bedroom window without waking us since he never follows curfew even though the adults in the home have to work early in the morning. I asked him how he's gonna get it fixed. Then he started in with everything that's wrong with me, as usual, to deflect blame away from him. Finally he got mad enough with the fact that I wasn't having it that he tossed a wood chair at me. I pushed the top of it off me and flipped it back. Then he started wailing on me. I had bumps and bruises all over my head, face, back, legs, and arms. I will not allow this situation to happen again even if it puts me in jail for telling him he can't come back. 

I taught him to value family, not step on them. I may doubt the job I'm doing a lot of the days as a parent, but I will NOT allow another person to abuse me so long as a I live.